Saturday, April 5, 2014
I haven't been here in awhile although I have felt a calling to write. I guess because my last post just had me so tied up. I have come to the conclusion that although there are things that I cannot control, there are things that I can (for the time being) control if I call upon God's help.
I can control my actions towards my thoughts. My thoughts have been haunting me to the point that I felt like I couldn't even go outside. I was afraid that the things that I have been accused of (which I am still in the dark about) are being spread all over town. Women have avoided me by not returning calls, texts or emails. I have had two women look me right in the face at a store (and another at a coffee shop) and say nothing. I have not been invited to the parties or gatherings that I used to be invited to. Not even a hello after I said it first to those that have turned away from me. It is weird but where this behavior comes from?
Behavior is learned. Someone told them that treating people this way is allowed. It isn't in the Bible so it is from the world. I have never read in the weeks that I have spent time with very wise women, ever found anything that says that this is the way we treat people. No matter what. I actually found just the opposite.
Now I can't say that I haven't treated people this way. I have, I am guilty but I also am not in High School anymore. I am not standing up raising my hands up and saying "Lord Lord, I am yours, I will obey you, I am your good servant" and then making sure that I avoid someone.
It is unloving and not right. It is about time women got closer to women who are either struggling or having bad situation instead of shunning them. Yes I said it, SHUNNING. Let's just call it what it is right?
I know someone that I just studied that was shunned. She was shunned by her own brother!
The story of King David. He had a daughter named Tamar and a son name Amnon. His son loved his daughter just a little too much. So much so he wanted to sleep with her. So he tricked his father into sending her to him and then Amnon raped her. She begged and pleaded with him to marry her although this was bad in the eyes of God and not allowed. So she tore her beautiful virginal rob and shut herself in the home of her older brother in shame and embarrassment.
Amon, got away with it for the time being. However he HATED her so much it made him angry and disgusted in himself that he took it out on Tamar. He instructed servants to take her outside, knowing they gossiped about Tamar so she would be even more shunned and ashamed. I feel like that is the way it works in some groups. Even in churches. You do something wrong and one by one people jump on board and they hate you and shun you. Although they have never had a conversation with you about what happened or even know you. Like Tamar, I am embarrassed and ashamed for something I don't even know about. Thankfully I don't have to carry that around like she did.
Tamar was not known by the people who shunned her. She was in pain and she didn't even do anything wrong. However, she was loved by God and she knew that. Her father David loved her. Her older brother Absalom loved her so much that he killed her brother Amnon. However David her father did nothing. He never took any action against his sons. No consequences. He just took his feeling and put them away. It hurt David in the end because he never really decided to have a relationship again with Absalom until it was too late. He cried up on the Mount of Olives after his son was killed. He wept as Jesus did before God before His death.
I feel like we just waste a lot of time in shunning and not restoring. Lifting up and encouraging and HELPING those that are struggling.
We set ourselves so far apart from people that we forget the love of our Father. We forget about our first love, Jesus.
I was shunned but I no longer let that be a strong hold in my life. I am loved. I am restored. I am forgiven and like Tamar, I am a daughter worth fighting for.
Our God gives us back our dignity that we lost amongst hypocrites that give us a name and label us what they believe we are. Our God defines us with names that only a graceful God can give us like "beautiful", "wonderful" and "His". Our God defends us when we are attacked or shunned and others want nothing to do with us. Jesus was spit on, kicked, punched, shunned, hated. He was not liked amongst the people that greeted Him with palm leaves under His feet.
How can I, if I truly believe in Christ, allow that to pierce my heart? How can I be more like Christ and love people irregardless of their situation, their lifestyle, their shortcomings? How if someone is repenting and desiring to change, would I ever turn my back?
I am thankful that these things have happened in recent months. It has taught me a lot about myself, others and most of all a Father that loves me no matter what I have ever done. Wrath is His, not mine.
He doesn't care what the problem is, He wants restoration and sooner than later.
Life is too short.